Is What Your Feeling Really Fear?

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.~Psalms 34:4
We all have struggled with fear along the way, some of us more so than others. From the occasional battle to life long phobias, fear can be paralyzing keeping us from living the life desires for us. However its amazing how when we get to the other side of whatever we where terrorized by, it never is as bad as it seemed to be when where in the thick of it.

I think fear of failure has been one of the greatest giants I've had to face over the years. As a person who struggles with rejection and abandonment issues, for me the only logical outcomes for failures were these two options. But as I've grown older, I have discovered that there are so many other outcomes before we reach these two endings. I came to this realization when I began to talk to God about my fears. I asked Him to show me why I was so fearful of failure? I have learned that the fear that I was clinging to was a secondary emotion, the emotion I felt comfortable expressing rather that what I was truly feeling. I discovered that the failure was not what I was afraid of, it was how people would not love a failure. I had  to work through the emotions that we causing me to fear to reach my breakthrough. So I began to change my prayers from God show me why I am so fearful to God help me to heal from past hurts that resulted in me feeling the fear.

As I began to work through my fears of failure, I began to understand that fear was not the only barrier I would have to face. I had to work my way through other barriers that I had constructed in the name of protecting myself. I would say things like, " If I don't love people as much as they love me, it won't hurt when they leave." Or I would just refuse to engage at all. In my mind, I was being proactive, but I never consider I was standing in the way of my own healing. The truth is that I was only punishing myself through my actions. What I thought was trying to protect myself, in the end result isolation and loneliness creating new barriers for me to breakthrough. What I found is that the more I began to love, the greater my capacity grew to love and be loved. The disappointments hurt less because I had so many more joyful experience to outweigh the negative ones. What I have learned is the only true way to overcome the disappointments of the past and overcome fear of whatever flows from our ability to love again, taking life's lessons and choosing to love differently, but without restraints can conquer any fear with God's help. 
Best,
​Kay